Definitions To Know

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stopsworking to stay home with the kids. The acronym stands for: SingleIncome, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because themagnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you findyourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials, Gary Condit,Monica Lewinsky, etc.

YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS:The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count,leaving the brass with clean hands.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank andfile. Decisions that fall from the admini- sphere are often profoundlyinappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed tosolve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not belocated. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."

HEADACHED: Temp widower. Spouse is not in the mood. Used as in: "I got lots oftime to work on that project tonight, I got headached."

CLM: Career Limiting Mistake. Self explanatory.

OHNO-SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've justmade a CLM.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to getit to work again.

UMFRIEND: A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimaterelationship, as in "This is Sherry, my ... um ...friend."

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch Potato.

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