Lost Baseball

Thanks Bob!

Goldfish Bury

Toto I Have A Feeling We're Not In Alaska Anymore!

Things That Sound Dirty on Halloween

1. So…What’d you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!
11. She’s a goblin!
12. Let me see your bag….OH! You’re having a great night!
13. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
14. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
15. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
16. Show me your JuJuBees and I’ll let you see my Zagnuts.
17. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth…
18. You scared me stiff!
19. He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

ID10T Error FAQ

Bonanza the Big Ride

Dog Sings Happy Birthday Backwards

Wal-Mart Cake

It took me a second, but make sure you read the story under the picture.Keep in mind this actually really did happen. This is for someone who was moving from an insurance claims office.


Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING! You can't fix stupid.

Thanks Jim A.!

The Price of Akward

Tracey Is Wrong

The Truths...

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

What Can't You Get In Vegas????

Yet Another Game Show Idiot

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Some Of The Best Junk Email I Have Gotten

So Aly gets lots of spam email, but this one is a favorite. What do you think Margarita looks like???

Hello! I Margarita. I have seen your add and I think that you are a very interesting person. So I decided to use the chance to get to know you. Hope I will be lucky:-) I don't think that the age and appearance is so important though I am rather pretty. The most important what is inside you and how do you feel about the life. I know this life from many sides and I am rather mature already to know how to make a man happy. I don't know if you answer me or not. But why not to try? I will regret if not to try. I think we should use every chance to find our happiness. Life is too short to use it only for thinking and dreaming. I try to act but not only to dream. So here I am:-) I will not write you much about myself now. I will just give you an idea of who I am. I work to earn for my living. I have a higher education and I am rather intelligent. The only one I miss is a beloved person and I want to have a family . I have really many interests:music, reading, books, computers, movies, good conversations, sports and many other things which make the life wonderful. I like beautiful clothes and things. I can't say that I have many friends. I know many people but I am very picky about the friends. Friend is a person who will be with me all my life. And I am lucky to have some really good friends. But I am very sociable that is why there are many people I have good relations with. I live with my mum and she is very friendly though don't understand each other always. I am rather independent. And work to be able to pay for the things I want to have in my life. In some words I can tell you, that I enjoy the life as it is and I love the life with all it's aspects. I am very kind ( I am not boasting:-) ) which hurts me often. But I am strong enough to overcome the hardships on my way. I with impatience will look forward to hearing from you, as you have very much interested me. Please write to me directly at: maslenicca@gmail.com Have a good day!!!!!!! Margarita