Sunday, October 08, 2006

OU Vs. Texas Longhorns Jokes!

Allow me to be the first to "bring it"...
Q: How do you starve a Sooner?A: Hide the food stamps under the soap.
Q: What's the difference between Sooner fans and a puppy?A: The puppy eventually stops whining.
Did you hear about the Sooner who was a dyslexic agnostic with insomnia?He laid awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Q: How can you tell if a Sooner is a married man?A: There's tobacco juice running down both doors of his pickup.
Q: Why do Oklahoma cheerleaders wear bibs?A: To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
Q: What's the difference between an OU Cheerleader and Bigfoot?A: One's 6 feet tall and hairy.
Hook Em' Horns!!!-----------------------------------------------
I'll never understand why one cheers for a team named for law-breaking, land-grabbing thieves. Are the "Sooners" still land-grabbers, by the way? We know well about the first part...
My favorite team? Whoever is lined up across from the law-breaking, land-grabbing thieves of zero-U. Thus I transition easily and smoothly from "Go Ducks!" to "Hook 'Em!"
A woman was walking through her new house in Norman with the contractor.
As they walked through rooms, she told him what color she wanted him to paint each room.
In the bedroom she said, "I think this would be nice in a cream." The contractor stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
This perplexed the woman. They moved to the living room and she said, I would love rose in this area." Again the contractor strolled over to the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
Again the woman was confused but did not say anything. As they walked into the kitchen she proudly announced that she wanted this room to be, " a glorious shade of mauve." Once again the contractor went to the window and yelled,"GREEN SIDE UP!"
Finally she could not stand this anymore. "What are you shouting GREEN SIDE UP out every window of this house?"
He replied,"I'm sorry. I have a crew of OU football players laying sod across the street."
Albert Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a lady and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?".........."240," she says. "Great, we can discuss the mysteries of the universe and other things. We have a lot we can talk about " he replies.
Later he is talking with a man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"......."145," he replies. "Great, we can talk about thermodynamics," says Albert.
Later he is talking to another gentleman and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?........"43," the man manages to say. Einstein gets a puzzled look on his face for a minute then says, "How about them Sooners?"
Two Sooner fans were working for the city works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."
Three students, 1 from Baylor, 1 from UT, and 1 from OU decide to attend the Big 12 Track & Field Finals. Only problem is they don't have tickets.
The Baylor Bear with a bit of ingenuity puts on a track suit, grabs a hubcap from his car, and reports to the attendant at the gate where the athletes enter saying, "Baylor University, discus." He is allowed to pass.
The Longhorn dons a track suit, grabs a nearby metal pole and reports to the same attendant saying, "UT, pole vault." He too is allowed to enter the event.
Finally, the Sooner puts on his athletic gear, goes to his pickup and cuts off a piece of barbed wire from a roll in the pickup bed. He reports to the attendant with these words, "Oklahoma University, fencing."



At 8:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is 9:19 pm and OU still sucks!!

At 10:08 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today is October 13th and the time is 11:08am and OU still sucks!

At 8:17 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

tuck fexas......boomer sooner

At 11:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

tuck fexas...yeah you went to ou huh

At 12:52 PM , Blogger david melton said...

How do you keep a Sooner from masturbating? Paint his weiner Longhorn brown, he can't beat it!


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