Traffic Accident Report of The Day

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leapingthrough her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pileup resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurringwhen she saw twelve people floating up into the air, andthen passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus."She started screaming "He's back, He's back" andclimbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof ofthe car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-oldGeorgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene."I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped,"Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and wasconvinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," hewent on to say."This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus anddiscovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on hisway to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bedof his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow upsex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by severalof his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs.Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up intothe sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, whosays his wife loved Jesus more than anything else. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkinsreplied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expectedanything like this to happen."