Funny & True Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher



"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Army



"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop



"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal



"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.



"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual



Here are some funny quotations from certain people and Army hand books :



"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal



"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance



"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal



"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- Col. David Hackworth



"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal



"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay



"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anon



"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Army Recruit



"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies



(And lastly) "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.A. Ammo