Top 10 Reasons I Am Overweight

10. Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day, there's no time to exercise!
9. "Girl Scout Cookie Dough" gets better tasting every year.
8. The colossal failure of "Salad King" drive-thru chain.
7. Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.
6. Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon cheeseburger/chili fries combo is a healthy meal.
5. Americans still unconvinced that it's not really butter.
4. Part of our country's defense strategy: Asses too large to be kicked.
3. Slim Fast shakes taste much better with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's in 'em.
2. One word: Sprinkles
... and the Number 1 Reason Americans are Overweight:1. "Did somebody say McDonald's?"