Strip Club Etiquette Courtesy of The Weekly World News

From the high quality publication that keeps you up to date on Bat Boy, Big Foot and the end of the world. Finally some advice people can use!

STRIP CLUB ETIQUETTE:10 Essential Do's and Don'ts! By MICHAEL FORSYTH
GUYS, do you think of an outing to a topless bar as an opportunity to act like a drunken, obnoxious lout for a few fun hours? Think again. Behaving like jerk at a strip club can earn you a slap in the face from an angry dancer or even get you tossed out on your ear by burly bouncers! "The reason they're called gentlemen's clubs is that patrons are expected to act like gentlemen," says Steve Rankerman, manager of a high-end nudie bar in Tampa, Fla. Here, based on interviews with dancers, bartenders and DJs nationwide, are 10 essentials of strip club etiquette:
1. AVOID asking a dancer, "Do you date?" Strippers will be insulted because they translate that as, "Can we have sex?" Exotic dancers take great pride in their profession and are mortified when customers suggest they might be hookers.
2. DON'T sit up front taking in the up-close-and-personal view of the rump-shaking performers if you don't plan to tip.
3. DRESS to impress. Leave your ratty tank top at home and shave that five o'clock shadow. "Splash on cologne," advises a Las Vegas dancer. "I'll definitely give a more intimate lap dance to a customer who smells nice."
4. KEEP "witty" negative comments to yourself. Wisecracks like, "That skinny blonde looks like Ann Coulter on crack," can deflate a dancer's self-esteem, causing her to mess up her routine -- or even take a nasty spill. "We hear more than you think over the music," reveals Party, a 21-year-old stripper in Dayton, Ohio.
5. TIP the bartenders and waitresses -- not just the strippers.
6. NEVER spank a dancer's derriere to get her attention -- that's just as rude at a strip club as at an office. And if there's a no-touching policy, you could be unceremoniously ejected. Instead, ask the bartender to signal the lady.
7. DON'T talk dirty. Risque banter is O.K., but a dancer is likely to take offense if you describe in graphic detail what you'd like to do to her.
8. NEVER tip a stripper with coins. Stuffing four quarters in a dancer's garter belt is a major insult. Politely ask the bartender to convert your coins to $1 bills.
9. THINK twice before dragging along your mate. Unless she's super-secure, odds are she'll feel threatened by the bosom- baring beauties. Notes one DJ: "Nothing ruins the atmosphere in a club quicker than a jealous girlfriend sitting there scowling -- or worse, mocking the dancers. Some ugly cat-fights start that way."
10. NEVER hang around outside after closing hoping to meet a girl. Just like any other women, dancers get spooked when approached in a parking lot at 4 a.m. You're likely to find yourself in jail for stalking after staffers call the cops.