Funny Quotes

If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck - Elvis Presley

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. - Tom Lehrer

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. - Anonymous

Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late. - Rita Coolidge

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends. - Bobby Kelton

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra.Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

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