Don't Blink

What Leader Are You???

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What Famous Leader Are You?
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I Heard That In Sweden...

A Hot Day In Minnesota

Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick up some dry cleaning."Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar.The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer."The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?" Helga blushed and replied "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"

The Washcloth

> Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed There isn't a
> woman alive today who won't crack up over this!
>
> I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
> Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell
> me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had
> only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already
> around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
>
> As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
> when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.
> So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that
> was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that
> area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth
> in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
>
> I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
> Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table,
> looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in
> Paris or some other place a million miles away.
> I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an
> extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.
>
> After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
> The rest of the day was normal ... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.
>
> After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out
> from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
>
> I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
>
> She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
> all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
>
> NEVER EVER GOING BACK TO THAT DOCTOR EVER!!!!!

Thanks Kathy R.!

How Old Is Grandpa?

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

• television
• penicillin
• polio shots
• frozen foods
• Xerox
• contact lenses
• Frisbees and
• the pill

There were no:

• credit cards
• laser beams or
• ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

• pantyhose
• air conditioners
• dishwashers
• clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
• man hadn't yet walked on the moon

How old is Grandpa???

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . And then lived together.

Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir". And after I turned 25, I still called every man older than me, "Sir" We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radi OS. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5&10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, .. . . But who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:

• "grass" was mowed
• "coke" was a cold drink
• "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
• "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
• "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
• "chip" meant a piece of wood,
• "hardware" was found in a hardware store and
• "software" wasn't even a word.
• And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap... And how old do you think I am? I bet you have this old man in mind...you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time. This man would be only 59 years old

Thanks Randy H.!

Password

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed..... P... E... N.... I... S.
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*** .