Fire Lover

A Chat With Jesus...

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, " what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Senor , but for now, I have to finish your lawn."

OJ's 1st B-Day

He looks alot like OJ!

Growing Up

How To Get A Man To Wash His Hands

Hiring Test

A man wanted a job, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a little math test."Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.""Withouta numbers," the Italian said. "Datta easy." He proceeded to draw three trees."What's this?" the boss asked. "Have you got no brain?"Tree and tree and tree makea nine," said the Italian."Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Italian stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he had just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?""Each ofa da trees isa dirty now. So, it'sa dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa 99."The boss was getting worried that he was going to have to actually hire this Italian, so he said, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."The Italian stared into space some more, then picked up the picture again, made a little mark at the base of each tree and said, "Ere you go. Onea hundred."
The boss looked at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"The Italian leaned forward, pointed to the marks at the base of each tree and said, "A little doga comea long and crapa by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd. Datta makea one hundred. So, when I'm a gonna start?"

What Do You Get When You Cross A Reindeer With A Pickle?