Take The Real or Scooby Doo Challenge

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Shoes

Funny & True Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher



"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Army



"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop



"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal



"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.



"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual



Here are some funny quotations from certain people and Army hand books :



"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal



"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance



"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal



"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- Col. David Hackworth



"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal



"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay



"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anon



"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Army Recruit



"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies



(And lastly) "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
-- U.S.A. Ammo

Two Nuns Were Out Walking...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).



It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.



SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.



SL: It ' s logical. He wants to rape us.



SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?



SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.



SM: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.



SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.



SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.



So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.



Then Sister Logical arrives.



SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!



SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?



SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.



SM: And?



SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.



SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?



SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.



SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?



SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?



SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.



And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, Say two Hail Marys! working.

A Difference Of Opinion

A young son asked his mother the following question:



"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"



The mother looks at her son and replies, "This shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."



The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.



"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"



The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, ALL household appliances come in white."

Fantastic News From A Friend

So some of you know Dave, but if you don't he's great!!! I couldn't be happier for the two of them. And thanks to modern technology... here's the video!