McGeyver Tool Set

Safe State

Washing Instructions

Magic Beer

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer", he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,
"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk.”

BFF Necklaces

Check out just the right side

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Thanks Rob!

How Did We Make It?

Those Born 1930-1979!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when werode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and
NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day.
And we were O.K.We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride downthe hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TODEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this.For the rest of us.....pass this on.
Thanks DK!

A.A.A.D.D.

This made me laugh so hard.....all I could think was that it seemed like a typical day!

I think we can all relate to this...........

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one checkleft.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk, where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Coke is getting warm,and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the driveway is flooded,

the car isn't washed,

the bills aren't paid,

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

there is still only one check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm reallybaffled, because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I have sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

Thanks Charlie!

Guys That Will Never Date My Daughter Part 2

Thanks Randy H.!

Guys That Will Never Date My Daughter Part 1

Thanks Randy H.!

Acceptable Uses Of The F* Bomb

When is the F-Bomb Acceptable?
There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has beenconsidered acceptable for use. They are as follows:

11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking? Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

10 "What the @#$% was that?" Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" Custer, 1877

8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" Picasso, 1926

6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" Pythagoras, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the @#$% are we?" Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" Bill Clinton, 1998 and a drum roll please............!

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad." Saddam Hussein, 2003

Thanks Rob & Larry!

The Wisdom Of Warren Buffet

Enjoy!
* "The smarter the journalists are, the better off society is." * "You want to learn from experience, but you want to learn from other people's experience when you can."
* "It's hard to teach a young dog old tricks."
* "In looking for someone to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But the most important is integrity, because if they don't have that, the other two qualities, intelligence and energy, are going to kill you."
* "Can you really explain to a fish what it is like to walk on land? One day on land is worth a thousand years talking about it and one day running a business has exactly the same kind of value."
* "It's only when the tide goes out you learn who's been swimming naked."
* "When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
* "Wouldn't it be great if we could buy love for $1 million. But the only way to be loved is to be lovable. You always get back more than you give away. If you don't give any, you won't get any. There's nobody I know who commands the love of others who doesn't feel like a success. And I can't imagine people who aren't loved feel very successful."
* "The really good business manager doesn't wake up in the morning and say, 'This is the day that I am going to cut costs' any more than he wakes up and decides to practice breathing."
* "We enjoy the process far more than the proceeds, though I have learned to live with those also."
* "If you hit a hole in one on every hole, you wouldn't play golf for very long."
We contribute these to the great capitalist Warren Buffet

Thanks Randy H.!

A Man Goes Into A Bar

A man walked into a very high-tech bar.
As he sat down on a stool, he noticed that
the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked,
"Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment, then replied,"A martini, please". The robot clicked a
couple of times and mixed the best martinithe man had ever had. The robot then asked,"Sir, what is your IQ?"The man answered, "Oh, about 164."The robot then proceeded to discuss thetheory of relativity, inter-stellar space travel,
the latest medical breakthroughs, etc. . .
The man was most impressed. He left thebar, but thought he would try different tactic.
He returned and took a seat. Again, the
robot clicked and asked what he would have." A martini, please." Again it was superb. The
robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?"This time the man answered, "Oh, about 100".
So the robot started discussing NASCAR
racing, bass fishing and what to expect theSteelers to do this weekend. The guy had to
try it one more time. So he left, returned andtook a stool . . . Again a martini, and the
question "What is your IQ?" This time the
man drawled out "Uh . . . 'bout 50." The
robot clicked, then leaned close and very
slowly asked, "A-r-e y-o-u-r
p-e-o-p-l-e r-e-a-l-l-y g-o-i-n-g t-o
n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e H-i-l-l-a-r-y?"

Thanks Randy H.!